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Night thoughts

We did this together. You’re most of what I can remember. 

Our love was beautifully terrible. Destructive.

But we found ourselves. 

Or at least, I found myself. 

You seem lost these days but I won’t speak for you. 

From all that we destroyed in each other, we created something beautiful. I’m glad it was you. Sometimes I hate you, but I’m glad. It couldn’t have been anyone else. 

I still keep a picture of us in my wallet. I still see your face in my dreams.

I don’t want you anymore but I’m not going to pretend that you don’t mean anything. 

I want you all the time. But I don’t really know what I want. 

I don’t really know where you are.

But you’re right there. 

And you live this new life and I’m not in it. 

But I’m right here. 

No matter how much you don’t want me to be. I’m right here. 

Our lives are intertwined. 

I wish they weren’t. 

I’m glad they are. 

A hopeless contradiction of love and hate. 

The state

Of us. 

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