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Art

I might not be very good at this

But when you make art,

Does it hurt?

Does it scream

Not to make you work?

It might not make sense;

It might not flow,

It might resonate within you,

But you know,

IT SCREAMS IN ME,

It yells “MAKE ART”

IT TELLS!

It tells you who you are

It tells you where you’ve been.

It tells you all the wonders

Hidden within.

Messy font,

Hurried whims.

You don’t know how to begin

But HERE WE ARE!

Half way through

All these truths you wish you knew

All these dreams we outgrew.

Where are you now?

I guess, you never really knew.

But we’ll move on

To places we’ve never been

And we’ll love poems

We’ve never seen,

And all those years remembered; cried

Are all those fears we never knew were lies

All those moments

Lost and gone

All those hands

Never felt strong.

Hold them;

Feel them;

Remember the days ,

That meant everything.

But them.

Cause youll never know,

What’s come and gone,

Until we have all moved On,

To greater things,

Like Dusk and Dawn,

Like every life

Come and gone

To say goodbye

To things you’ve lost.

True love comes at a cost

That a heart May never understand,

But my heart

You hold in your hand

And, so believe, I’ll be here

In your heart

I’ll be very sorry

For being there

But I deserved

LOVE LIKE THIS.

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The Poem No One Knows

Callosed toes on callosed feet
A poem no one knows
Walking down the street
Longing lines and winding rhymes
Written on my face
In a language no stranger could read
A coded journal kept just for me.
If you listen close, I’ll read it out loud
Over coffee, while watching the stars
While I sing in the shower,
While we make love in the dark.
Listen closely to the silence
of a Saturday afternoon.
Those moments scream parts of me,
And whisper others.
But the greatest parts are in my eyes,
In my song,
In the poem no one knows.

Late Night Thoughts That Don't Make Sense, Talking to Myself, Uncategorized

-untitled-

I’m drowning in a reality that I create

That I do not control

Everything happens in a flash of imprecise impulses

Like a cyclone

Spiraling into something unrecognizable

Just trying to grab ahold

Of the events that matter and the moments needed for goals

There’s no worse feeling

Than being left out in the snow

Wearing your heart on your sleeve

Not knowing what you need

But you’ll fly

Like a kite in the night, trapped in a hurricane, tied to a tree

Late Night Thoughts That Don't Make Sense

Touch Me

Words only say so much

Speak to me in intimacy

Poetry is your hands on me

A book written upon our skins

A book of love; of life; of a journey

Pain like scars turned to shadows of memories

Memories like lessons

Lessons like experiences come together to create the intricate wisdom that is you.

Your marvelous insecurity, immaturity still feeding the drive

The drive to find yourself

Find yourself within me

Write your poetry

Explore your spirit within my own

Find a home within the reflection of your heart in my eyes

Let’s write.

Talking to Myself

End of an Era

There have been a lot of Eras in my life.

Some of them good.

Most of them, I’m glad they’re over.

Chapters of my life come and go like the winds. Like the seasons.

Like the moon.

Here I am, on the last day of an Era.

This one was full of growth. Self realization.

Sadness.

Madness.

Tears.

Fears.

Great days.

Terrible days.

I’m glad to have had this experience.

This summer, I have worked with people I never thought I could,

Stepped into a new career,

Done something I never really wanted to do,

And it might have saved my life.

I’m glad to have faced this challenge.

I’m ecstatic that I survived it.

Working in mental health while having mental health issues was always an internal struggle.

I did it.

I know I can do more of it in the future.

This job was hard. This job was amazing.

I’m so glad to be going home.

Uncategorized

A Beautiful Day

When the day is really hard,

When you don’t really know what you’re doing,

When it feels like everything you try falls apart,

Look out the window.

Listen to the wind blow.

Notice where the sun shines.

No sun?

Watch the clouds,

They always have something nice to say.

Watch the river,

You know it doesn’t have problems moving on.

Maybe you do,

Maybe that’s ok.

But when the day is hard,

It’s still a day.

You’re still going to get through it.

You’re still doing great.

Hear the wind blow.

It’s louder than any problem you’ll ever know.

People To Remember

Lunch With A Friend

Had lunch with someone close today. Afterwards, we found a nice mossy spot by a small lake. It was beautiful and green. A new family of geese searched for food nearby. A red squirrel tittered to it’s friends and seemed to be getting an early start on collecting acorns from a nearby oak. The water was still. A maple across the lake had the slightest hint of orange. The refection of the treeline in the water shimmered peacefully with the gentle breeze blowing across the surface.

As we sat, we spoke of a lot of things. Life mostly. Things in it and around it. Things we have right now. Things that are going to change soon. Big life. Small life.

As we spoke, I came to a realization. About a lot of things, but one thing in particular really sticks out.

So many of us go through life thinking that the purpose is to find someone to come with us on our journey. No one considers the people who taught us what to do or how to feel when we find them.

Love has always been a huge theme in my life. From unrequited, unrealized, unwanted, and needed but never really there. Family, friends, strangers. But never for very long.

I thought to myself, and my friend, maybe I’m not one of those people who gets someone to come on these crazy adventures I get myself into. Maybe that’s ok.

I’ve had the opportunity for so much love. So much true love.

I believe every love is true love, even if it’s not forever, it’s necessary to help one learn.

Maybe all these crazy adventures lead me around to find these loves. To love them. To teach them. To have these crazy moments and then continue on my way.

It sounds tragic, and maybe it is a little, but someone has to be the person who’s ok with teaching love. So many of us seem to have forgotten what it means to be loved; forgotten what it’s like to love. I mean, really love someone. With everything you have in you in that moment. Even if it’s just for a moment.

In all my sporadic movement; my impulsive life; my sudden leaps, I can’t expect anyone to be willing to follow me into the next, usually dark, moment. No. It’s better if we have the beautiful, wonderful minute, leave it at that, and they can go and find their true love. Live their real dreams, without a windswept romantic stirring their control up every chance I get.

So, I hope to find more love in my life. I’m sure that I will. I find new, amazing, glorious people every day.

I hope they learn to love. Me and then the world.

After all,

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.”