When they give me a list of symptoms, I question whether I was ever really myself, or have I always been the sickness?
There have been a lot of Eras in my life.
Some of them good.
Most of them, I’m glad they’re over.
Chapters of my life come and go like the winds. Like the seasons.
Like the moon.
Here I am, on the last day of an Era.
This one was full of growth. Self realization.
I’m glad to have had this experience.
This summer, I have worked with people I never thought I could,
Stepped into a new career,
Done something I never really wanted to do,
And it might have saved my life.
I’m glad to have faced this challenge.
I’m ecstatic that I survived it.
Working in mental health while having mental health issues was always an internal struggle.
I did it.
I know I can do more of it in the future.
This job was hard. This job was amazing.
I’m so glad to be going home.
Remember who you are.
Stand up for the things you believe in.
Accept the things you are not.
Change the things you can.
Take the next step.
It’s there in the most inconvenient of moments.
When you’re driving your car in silence, down a green highway, a brilliant thought is there and gone with the whoosh of a passing car by the time you pull over and grab a notebook.
When you’re in the shower, in the middle of winter, and there’s just no way you’re getting out. Because it’s the first shower you’ve had in days. Because the bathroom floor is cold and wet. Because the depression got you and you gotta take care of yourself eventually.
When you’re in your doctors office, waiting for them to see you now. They’d think you really were crazy if they came into the room at the exact moment you were scribbling down the idea for a tragedy they’d never deem healthy.
When you’re watching the most beautiful thunder storm in your life, but you’re huddled under a porch, and you forgot your notebook.
When you’re sitting in your room late at night, with only lights on strings and furry things. When you know you should sleep.
Finally, a bit of inspiration. Might as well grab it.
Might as well be inspired by all the fleeting thoughts, even if you’ll never have them again. Might as well remember the feeling of having those thoughts every once in a while.
Inspiration comes from a lot of places. Sometimes, in the worst moments. Sometimes you just have to take them.
Reminder to me: write it down.
Even if it’s ridiculous. At least it’s something.
I remember all those years when the words flowed freely. When I wrote more than I spoke. Where did those days go?
Now I have to learn how to grab those moments again.
Learn to grab those moments again.
Inspiration is special. Creativity is important.
Don’t let the world around you stamp out your love to create. The passion inside you shouldn’t be put out.
This is me. Grabbing a tiny bit of inspiration.
I’m finally moving on to the bigger, better parts of the internet. After years of working various formats of social media, I’ve decided that I really need my own space.
And so, here we are. Free flowing thought.
I’ll be the first to admit that I talk too much. Hence the website. Where I get to pretty much talk to myself, but at least I’m getting it out of my head.
This blog will have it’s ups and downs. Constant change is the only thing I know how to do.
The vision I have right now is going to be a mix of content. Political posts, different photo galleries, videos, news updates, things going on in the adventure that is my life.
So that begs the question, who the hell am I anyways?
Today I am…
– The Great Canadian Wanderer